I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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