yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
