Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize