Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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