it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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