After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think my tv is drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
