Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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