Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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