Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
