Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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