My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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