Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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