Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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