Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
