TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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