talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
