I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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