I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
