So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
