I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
