I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize