? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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