we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
