She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
