that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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