Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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