She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
