do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
