OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
