what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
