Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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