Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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