Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
