The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
