I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
