I seem to have left my pride at pride
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
