Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
