i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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