I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
