they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Mom said you looked used
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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