Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
