need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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