The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Damn victory sex feels great
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
