she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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