i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
