is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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