3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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