That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
