Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
