you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
