He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
