and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
