He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
