Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
