you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
