Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
