Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
