Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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