Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
