she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
