Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's like iHOP with fire
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
